Everyone contributes a little!
by Joanna Davis
Summary: Ways to torture/kill Sakura in some sadistic ways, specific to each Naruto character. They all contribute a little at this. Lots of Sakura bashing, so don't like, don't read. Flamers are welcome, the flame reviews make me laugh...
1. The titles of the first 25 tortures

Everyone contributes a little...

**A fic Gabriella and I created just for the heck of it... just because we hate Sakura. So we came up with some ways how each character would torture/kill Sakura. Some ideas are from some friends too.**

**So, don****'t like, don't read. Be warned, there's a lot of Sakura bashing, which will be referred here Suckura. Hope all Suckura haters will enjoy. Will take any ideas from your reviews!**

**First 20 tortures/kills!**

Naruto- Food poison her with expired milk and make her love the toilet!

Shino- Insistent death glare till it actually happens or until she goes crazy from it!

Sasuke- "Dear Suckura, Ino and Sasuke invite you to be a witness of their wedding and their twins baptizing. Hope you can come, and don't forget to bring your camera for immortalizing their first kiss after the uniting of their fates!"

Konan- Papercuts and lemon juice on the wounds… 'nuff said!

Pein- Piercings in the whole face until she bleeds to death!

Kakuzu- Sells her to Jiraiya/Orochimaru!

Kisame- Chops her into pieces with Samehada and throws the pieces from a high hill into the ocean! (**Very poetic- that one is from my nii-san!**)

Hidan- Jashin-sama needs a new sacrifice… 'nuff said!

Itachi- Genjutsu of Lee and Gai showing their youth very artistically and explicit. This will make Suckura commit suicide. In genjutsu and real life and any imaginary life!

Tobi- Pure, simple antagonizing with the well-known "Tobi is a good boy!"

Deidara- Put explosives in her tampons!

Sasori- Ask her for some body parts. If she doesn't want to give them… take them anyways, but slow and painfully!

Choji- Clean his bellybutton in front of the chair where Suckura is tied up!

Kin (from Oto, you know, the one from the first series who held Suckura's hair when she cut her hair…) Shave her hair for good with the lawnmower!

Hinata- Make Suckura look in a clown mirror that fattens. Watch then how she starves herself to death. (**Some say Hinata looks fat, so that's why we put this here, cause 'Suckura is sooooo thin and cool and Hinata is sooooo fat and loser.' Like F**k whatever.**)

Tsunade- Fill Suckura's boobies whit helium and watch her float at 1000m high, and slingshot her chest and watch her do a Tom and Jerry air-emptying-fly until she bangs her head on a random pole…!

Shizune- Set her up on a date with Tonton, then try to record a zoophilic yuri!

Kabuto- Make her wear big, dorky, ugly, geeky and nerdy glasses!

Shikamaru- Strangle her with a shadow looking like Sasuke!

Akamaru- Pee in her mouth! (**Awesome!**)

**Me: That's it, ppl, and here is my favorite pink girl to do the disclaimer!**

**Sakura: You b***h! Why do you hate me? Why? I'm cute! *chibi eyes that make me barf***

**Me: Do the damn disclaimer once and for all!**

**Sakura: Fine! This b***h here doesn't own anything from Naruto, she only has those idiot ideas and her sick imagination!**

**Me: You forgot about Gab!**

**Sakura: Like I care about another sick-minded stupid girl…**


	2. Stories 15

Everyone contributes a little!

**Okay, here are the first five short stories from the list before!**

**Naruto- Food poison her with expired milk and make her love the toilet!**

"Hey, Sakura-chan! Would you like a glass of milk after this training?" Naruto asked, holding it up to Suckura, with a grin plastered on his face, looking just like the normal hyper himself.

"Hmmmm… well… yeah, give it to me!" she said, reaching out and getting the milk. With just one breath she gulped it all down. Without giving Naruto any smile or thank, she left the training ground. Naruto waited until she left his sight, then a malefic chuckle escaped his mouth.

"Finally you'll pay for all you've made me go through, b***h!"

When Suckura got to her house, she greeted her invisible mother and went into her room. She knew there were cameras on her, so she looked at the team pic and sighed very drama-queen-like. A fake crocodile tear rolled down her cheek, and she brought her hands around her waist. Her face became green, making a lovely contrast with her dyed hair, and she rushed to the bathroom, banging her head upon the doorframe in her rush.

The door closed and the cameras focused on a glass of cherry blossoms, while her happy sighs were very audible from the restroom. Sounds of explosions were telling us that the toilet is being shown her love.

Poor toilet…

**Shino- Insistent death glare till it actually happens or until she goes crazy from it!**

Suckura was sitting in the middle of a meadow, with her eyes closed and in background a flashback running. She felt watched so she opened her eyes, to see Shino, as creepy as ever, staring at her. She looked long at him, but the stare wouldn't stop. Without seeing his eyes which were hidden by the glasses, she felt like she was watched nonstop, and not in the way the cameras always focus on her eyes.

"Hey, Shino, can I help you?" she tried, but silence was the only answer that she got. The insistent glare continued. "Hellooooo, anyone home?" she said, waving her hand in front of his face. Still no answer.

And then her small brain decided it'd be best to do what she knew- meaning hit like a hurt animal. She tried sending a chakra-embedded punch directed to Shino's face, which he stopped, still glaring at her.

"Say something!"

Silence and glare.

"YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

Silence and glare again.

"Argh, that's it! Goodbye blue sky! Tell Sasuke I loved him!" she said, and then dug a kunai into her head. Shino watched, and then sighed.

"Finally, I was starting to feel sick from watching her… that's a veal forehead!" he said to himself, then walked away from her corpse.

**Sasuke- "Dear Suckura, Ino and Sasuke invite you to be a witness of their wedding and their twins baptizing. Hope you can come, and don't forget to bring your camera for immortalizing their first kiss after the uniting of their fates!"**

"Hey, forehead girl… guess what!"

"What, Ino-pig?"

"Sasuke and I are getting married!" Ino shouted, showing Suckura the wedding ring on her left finger.

Suckura fainted at first from the shock. After she became conscious again (meaning after the advertisements… ) the cameras focused on her furrowed brow, also zooming on her forehead. Which filled the whole screen and made two cameras explode and two camera-operators need psychological treatment.

"How…?" she said, trying to make her voice as choked as she could, in fact sounding like a strangled chicken.

"Well, after the birth of our twins, we needed to do this too, because it's the tradition, and the Uchiha name has to be mine!"

"But… Sasuke-kun… I…" Suckura said, not trying very hard to sound like a mindless worm. It came natural to her not to be able to link two words.

"So you're coming, right…?"

"I… why did he choose you?"

"He said you're annoying. And that your forehead wouldn't fit in the wedding dress."

Suckura's eyes widened, and she ran away yelling something about never coming out of her room again, making people sigh and mutter something like 'Kami make it real…'.

**Konan- Papercuts and lemon juice on the wounds… 'nuff said!**

Suckura wake up on a torture table. In the Akatsuki HQ. And she started screaming her brain (if she has one…) off. A piece of paper covered her mouth and only muffled mutters could be heard in the silence. A woman with blue hair came out of the shadows. "She does indeed look ugly." Konan said, looking at Suckura from head to talking toe."Okay, they were right to hire me for torturing her. And I'll do it for free now that I see what service I do to the rest of the world…" she said to herself, then took out a stack of paper and other things.

Suckura's eyes widened, and tears started falling from her eyes. In her mind she was begging everyone, from mailman to Lee to Kabuto to come and rescue her from her upcoming future.

Konan slowly made papercuts on the whole surface of her hands, playing tic-tac-toe, and making Suckura imagine flashbacks where she '' and 'tookeveryone'' and other sickeningly stuff. Then, after the hands were all shallowly cut, but deep enough, lemon juice was dropped on the wounds, as well as salt,cinnamon and ketchup, and candies. If Suckura could have screamed, she would have. Definitely.

An hour later, she was still alive (yeah, I know, not fair!) and her whole body was covered in the already mentioned stuffs. Konan looked and nodded to herself. Adding the candies was a great idea- who would have thought the sticky substance of the sugar would go so well with lemon juice, salt and blood?

**Pein- Piercings in the whole face until she bleeds to death!**

Suckura woke up tied up on the same table in the Akatsuki HQ, this time not able to speak at all. A tall man with a slashed Ame headband appeared from the dark. Without saying a word, he started digging some thick piercings like the ones on his face in her nasal pyramid. He waited for her to recover from the faint she had, then dug another two metal rods in her cheekbones. Again, he waited for her to be conscious again, and he took out her left eye.

The camera focused on the green eye which rolled on the floor leaving a trail of blood, and then the POV went to seeing the whole scene from the ceiling. As the main light was focused on the torture table, in the background a janitor could be seen brushing the floor and cleaning the blood. At least he was less annoying than the pink-haired bimbo…

In the end, the last metal rod was stuck right between her eyes. Where the brain was supposed to be was a big emptiness (it has always been like that…), and any legist would confirm that the loss of blood made her die. Or the pain. Or Pein. One of the three… but I'm pretty sure about the last one…


End file.
